When I was deployed to Iraq we used to post a stress relief / vent board on butcher block paper, called the top ten list: It was hilarious and we used it as a joke board. Anyone that has been deployed knows about KBR (Kellog Brown Root)
You can always tell when KBR has been working on the city's power grid, just look for the Fire Trucks (putting the fires out)
How many KBR does it take to screw in a light bulb?
15, - 1 to requisition the bulb, 13 to pull security and 1 to ask the Army to screw in the bulb
10, - 1 to do the paper work, 9 to stand around watching while the female medic screws in the bulb
99, - 98 to go from Ramadi to Bagdad and back to get the bulb, and 1 to ask the Navy on Ramadi for an extra one.
1, - just one? Yes, one to ask the nearest soldier, airman or marine to do the job for them.
All kidding aside, the Independent Contractor does a good job over there. They must, because we have been in Iraq so long :)
Seriously, I wish KBR had more of those monster generators, I could have used the Air Conditioning!
Yes, it was so hot over there. How hot?
Hot enough to fry an egg on the sidewalk by 7 in the morning
Hot enough to fry your brain by 730 in the morning
Hot enough to watch water evaporate
Well, to be honest, there was more than just the heat to deal with over there..... the dust was another thing altogether
When we would see the dust storms come in, we would lay bets on how much sand we got (similar to snow) Speaking of snow, I always wondered when we would see the sand plows come through.
People say that it got cold in Iraq, yep, it sure did, down to about 65 degrees one night. The poor soldier almost got frost-bit on guard duty. We even got to requisition heaters for when it got down in the 60's. It was funny seeing people running around in cold weather gear when the temp dropped into the upper 60's, when we knew back home, that people went to the lake swimming and water skiing in that weather.
One day in Kuwait, my friend was talking to a British Soldier and "pissed" him off. I asked what was said, and he told the Brit 2 jokes which I title, what not to say to a British Soldier:
"I just heard about Lady Di, was it fatal?"
"What were the last 3 best things to leave the British Isles?" (By this time, the British soldier had started to clean his Big Bowie Knife in anticipation of cutting something or someone)
"Beatles, Prince Albert in a can, and the American Invasion Fleet for Normandy"
Needless to say, I still get emails from my favorite "Brit" asking how us Yanks are coping with the Rebels down south (at that time, I lived in Georgia) HaHa, British Humor.
Some funny stuff he sent me were these links though, you got to check them out.
Burn Outs
Beach Landing Made Simple
Peanut Butter Jelly Time
I don't intend to put anyone down with these remarks, it is all clean, simple fun.
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